The Big Ten... weeks that is!!

Today April 26, 2011 I am starting my 10th week of pregnancy, with every pregnancy symptom you can think of in full swing! From morning sickness, exhaustion, to the worst one of all my boobs absolutely killing me and getting bigger and bigger, having to pee every 5 minutes, and the crazy women coming out to see the world (wonderful hormones, did I mention my poor husband). Other than all of that the peanut and I are doing great!! My shots are going good, some days they don't bother me and other days they are horrible, but I know that they are working so I wont complain. 

Easter weekend came and went. It was wonderful, church service was amazing. I am so proud to say I serve a RISEN God!! He is wonderful and I am thankful for all the many blessings he's given me. We are just one week away from getting to see and hear our little peanut!! Man how time just seems to crawl, but then seem to fly by all in the same instant. We are so excited to see our little miracle baby!! Daniel and I went and bought one of the record able hearts from Build A Bear. We are going to record our little one's heartbeat and stuff its own little bear!! Just one way to show my little peanut that it is very special to mommy and daddy!! I've also started a pregnancy journal along with this blog, so once baby is old enough I can show and tell them the journey we've all taken to greet them. My due date has also changed, not a for certain one yet but its now November 28, 2011. We find out for certain on May 3. I am so over joyed its unbelievable!! 

My belly is officially growing, well to me at least. Its starting to round out a little and my regular pants are starting to get uncomfortable, but I think thats from where my bruises are. We've started buying diapers and wipes to try and get a head start. Hopefully by the time he or she makes their appearance I'll have enough to get us through the first couple of months or so. I plan on buying a box of each every other week so that leaves me with 20 big boxes of diapers and wipes at the end. Lets see how fast we go through them though, pretty sure a whole lot faster than it took to collect them all. 

I've also changed the nursery stuff I had picked out for a little girl. I've decided against a themed room, but only for a girl. I couldn't pass on the turtles for the little boy. Everyone I've seem to talk to with newborns that chose to do a theme ended up regretting it in the end. So I've pick out the  Harlington Nursery Collection from Pottery Barn. Its red, pink, white, with a small amount of turquoise in it. Ill post pictures of it later. I also changed the color of the bed, I want it to be a white bedroom suite for a girl. And still I think this baby is a Boy!! While everyone else thinks its a girl. I really don't care if its a boy or girl as long as I have a healthy baby. We get to find out if baby Hoolihan is a boy or a girl the end of June!!! I so cant wait till then. Im ready to start filling the closet, painting the room, buying the bed, and all the fun stuff that comes with being pregnant!!! 

Continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers because they seem to be working!! I will update next week after we have our new ob appointment and ultrasound. I cant wait to show everyone our little peanut!! Until I talk to ya'll again I hope everyone stays safe during the storms and has a wonderful 1st weekend in May!!

In God's Time

Most of you know the journey God has lead Daniel and me through. We have had some wonderful news turn to bad news really fast. I've had good days and bad ones too. Our relationship has been through a whole lot as we are approaching our year anniversary. I would have never thought some of the things that have happened ever could happen, but God has got us through every single step!! God is so good!! We married on May 8, 2010, moved in our house June 30, 2010, bought me a new Jeep August 3, 2010, got a new puppy September 30, 2010, found out we were expecting January 12, 2011, miscarried January 13, 2011, expecting again February 14, 2011, and miscarried February 21, 2011, had test ran to find out the cause of my miscarries on March 17, 2011, On March 25, 2011 found out the results, I have Thrombophlebitis  which is a clotting factor which makes my blood form a clot when I get pregnant and doesn't let nutrients get to baby and without that baby can't live so I miscarry. Dr. Riggan had me start taking a baby aspirin everyday until we find out I'm pregnant and I would have to start a blood thinner injection called Lovanox, and this is the day  my monthly cycle is suppose to return.

On April 2, 2011 my precious niece Loralei Louise DeForest made her appearance at 11:45 p.m. weighing 7lbs. 15oz. and 19 inches long. She is absolutely perfect and has the biggest dimples ever!! I love her so very much and I'm one proud aunt! Sunday, April 3, 2011 we wake up and are getting ready to head back to the hospital to see Amber and Loralei again, in the meantime Daniel ask if I've still not started and I haven't so he tells me to take a test to just be sure. So I take a test and there two pink lines appeared. I immediately started crying and called my mom and told her the news. She told me to call Dr. Riggan first thing Monday morning. Monday, April 4, 2011 I called my Dr. and told him my news, and he wanted me to come in for blood work, so I was going to go before 4:30, then the bad storms hit and knocked my office and there office out of power. Which leaves me having to go on Tuesday April 5, 2011 to have blood work done and Dr Riggan writes me a script for my Lovanox injections. I get home and start calling around to check prices of this and found out they were $172.00 a week which is $688.00 a month, which is not cheap, but I couldn't put a price on my child. So, my wonderful mother and father are going to help us out with the cost of that. God had already began to answer prayers because at first we thought they were going to be $2000.00 a month and that my insurance wasn't going to pay for any of the cost, insurance ended up paying for some of the cost, and the fact my parents had offered to help us out. I'm telling you God is so amazing!! I went back on Thursday, April 7, 2011 to have repeat blood work done to make sure my hCG levels are rising. Dr Riggan calls me Thursday night and of course I miss the phone call, but he leaves a voice mail just letting me know everything is ok and to call the next morning. Friday, April 8, 2011 ( my daddy's birthday) I wake up and call Dr. Riggan and he tells me everything is doing great and he scheduled my ultrasound and  next appointment!

So Now today is Friday, April 15, 2011 and I am still pregnant and taking my shots like a champ. I take 1 injection in my belly everyday. On the bright side I only have 235 more days to go!! My wonderful mom comes and gives it to me everyday!!! Did I mention she is wonderful and a gift from God I don't know how I would make it without her. They don't hurt to horribly bad they just burn really really bad and make a bruise, so by the end my big ol' belly will be one big bruise. Dr Riggan told me to look at that big bruised belly and know that bruise is what is keeping that baby ALIVE!!  Daniel and I are so over joyed its unbelievable!! I dread going to pee every time scared that its going to give me a horrible sign, but so far so good. God is helping me know that he is in control and this is his child and everything will be OK. The morning sickness,as they call it, has kicked in which is kicking my butt morning, noon and night!! I wonder who came up with that name, probably a man who has never gone through any of it!! lol =)  I go to the Dr.  May 3, 2011 to have our first ultrasound, I am sooooo excited to get to see and probably hear my little peanut!!! We find out our for sure due date, but as of right now my EDD is December 6, 2011!! My Christmas present from God!! I cant begin to tell you how excited we are and all at the same time so nervous and scared! So everyone please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. This is still on the down low so please no post on facebook. If you wanna talk please write it in a message on fb or text me!! I just wanted to catch people up on our life and our wonderful news!! Thank you all for being such wonderful friends and family. How lucky can one girl get?  I will keep everyone updated and will post pictures of my little peanut and the wonderful growing belly soon!! Remember that God answers prayers and he truly has a wonderful plan even when we think hes only out to hurt us, he really isn't he knows whats best and everything will work out according to his plan. He loves you and always will get you through. 

I heard this song the Monday after I found out!! It made me cry like a baby because it is so true!! 

Just A Little Pick Me Up

So I heard this song on the way to work one day last week and it reminded me of my little ones in heaven. As almost 2 weeks have past since my last miscarriage its getting easier to make through the day without crying or it always being on my mind. God's working his magic in those areas. Me and Daniel are going back to the doctor on Tuesday, March 22 to have my follow up and to start running all of the test to try and find out whats going on to cause my miscarriages. I'm nervous to find out the results, but excited to begin trying again. This is something Ive wanted for a while now and hoping that I get the chance to be a mommy and Daniel to be a daddy. As all this has happened Ive had problems with going in the room that's going to be baby's, being around baby stuff, and just the thought that I will never get to be a mommy to a little that Ive been able to carry. I know God knows best and that everything will work out in the end. Ive just got to sit back and let it all happen on his time not on mine. I guess that's one of the hardest things about this whole experience is learning to have patience, when Ive never been to good with that!! My moma has been saying I can control alot of things in life, but the good Lord above is showing me that this is one thing in life I can't be in control of.

Ive had a good weekend considering the weather is so nasty. Friday I spent the day with a friend at work and her little girl. Today Daniel and I went and got our hair done, then went and got me a new laptop (because mine died after 7 years). I am absolutely loving it =) Tomorrow we've got church and then the Hoolihan gang coming over for lunch. Then back to work on Monday! Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend, and I will update after we've had our test ran.

The Best Turns to the Worst

I'm sure most all of you know that the best news I received turned to the worst news on Monday night. It all started as any day for me does. I went to work, got off and the only thing different was Twila, a girl I work with, I took her home. I stepped inside to see her precious baby girl. I got home around 6:45, and being pregnant I was having to pee all the time so I went to the restroom and to my surprise I saw some blood. I began to panic at that point. I immediately called my mom and asked if it was normal. She informed me that sometimes it is normal, she asked how much and I told her at that point it was just light spotting. Still being scared of what it could mean I layed down on the couch. Then I had started hurting not horrible, but more than normal. I called my mom back, who is a nurse, she told me to call the doctors office and get the on call doctor. I called and around 7:30 the doctor called me back. He told me that if my bleeding or cramping got any worse go to the er. Daniel and I ran through McDonald's. Got back home an I began hurting pretty bad and went to the restroom again, and saw my worse fear, I was bleeding pretty bad. Daniel and I get in the car and head to Hendersonville Er. We get there around 9:30 and they immediately start drawing blood and running test. Around 11:15 we get the news my hCG levels had dropped again. I never thought it would happen to us again, but it was happening at that moment, my heart was breaking. We had a silent ride back home. We got home right at 12:00 and went straight to bed.

Daniel got up and went to work the next day and I headed back to Dr. Riggan's office. I got there and couldn't control my emotions. He came in and talked to me. He begin by saying he was so sorry. He told me there was really no way to tell what the cause was this time. He told me I had some options and I told him I wanted to give it some more time before I made my decision wither or not I wanted to proceed with a D and C. So, he told me to come back the next day and we would make the decision then.  I spent the rest of the day in bed resting because I was hurting really bad. I got up and went back to the doctor today and informed him that my bleeding and cramping wasn't as bad as it had been the day before. He told me that was good news and we would wait on the D and C for now. I was glad to hear that. I came back home and have slept most of the day. When I'm awake I do nothing but cry. I know Ill never know God's plan, but it still doesn't make it easy. Dr. Riggan told me that we would start running lots of different test once my levels were back to normal, which should be in about 4 weeks.  He said that if those test come back normal we would begin doing chromosome testing on me and Daniel. I have been praying to God that the blood test for me comes back with something small that can be fixed before we have to get to the other major testing. I pray to God that me and my wonderful husband are able to have children together and get to experience the miracle of life and the gift of being a mommy and a daddy. I know that talking to God helps us heal, and I've been talking to him a whole lot here lately. If I gain anything from this experience I have gained a closer relationship with God. Everyone has sent messages telling me that I will be a great mom, I hope that when I get the chance to be blessed enough to get to be a mommy. I pray that I will be a great one. Once I get the chance to have my own little miracle I will cherish every moment I get and never take a day that I have for granted. Even now going through this heartbreak twice it has brought me and my husband closer to together, closer to God and has changed our lives forever. I know we have 2 amazing little angels watching over us everyday. I guess what helps me get through is knowing that both of my little peanuts are going to be waiting on me at the gate one day. Mommy and Daddy love you little peanuts!!!  

The song at the top really hit home in this deep moment where I wanna question God, but like the song says I know you are for me. So I know God is just testing my faith and love for him and this to shall pass and I know it will make me and Daniel only stronger and better Christians.

The BEST Valentine's Gift Ever

Monday February 14, 2011  I woke up got out of bed and for some reason I thought Ill take a pregnancy test just to see what it would say, even though I knew I was going to be getting my results back soon anyways. So I pee on the stick and waited, about 2 minutes later a light pink line appeared. I thought no way so I looked again, and again, and 1 more time just to be certain. Once I knew my mind wasn't playing tricks on me I began to cry and fall to my knees and give thanks to God for allowing me the chance again, and thanking him for everything and praying for a healthy baby. After I had gotten my self back together I called and told my mom that I had two pink lines, followed by a phone call to my husband telling him about our wonderful news!! He said to me I guess you got the best Valentine's gift I could ever give. I finished getting ready for work and headed out the door. The whole way to work I talked to God and my little peanut =).

I had been at work for about an hour and I had a special delivery my husband had sent me fresh cut flowers! He is so wonderful to me and is going to be an amazing daddy. I go back to working on my patients, still waiting on the phone call from my doctor. 5 o'clock comes and its time to get off work and I still haven't heard anything. I meet Daniel at Walgreens and  we get 2 more boxes of pregnancy test, 2 of the digital ones and 2 regular ones. We get home and again I pee on the stick and immediately there are two blue lines on one and the other said PREGNANT!!! I couldn't believe it!! We were so excited but still not forgetting what had happened last time, so in the back of our minds we knew things go turn for the worse again. We go to bed that night and wake up the next morning and I take another one and guess what it was positive. I go to work still waiting on a phone call from Dr. Riggan. Finally, I get a call from Angel and she tells me to come by and he'll talk to me. I get there and I get more blood drawn to make sure my hCG levels are rising like there suppose to, and he talks to me. He informed me that I was pregnant and that my levels from Friday were 25, which was higher than they were last time. He said that now on Tuesday they should be around 90 to 100. I go Wednesday with no phone call and finally on Thursday night on my way home from Cookeville my phone rings and its Dr. Riggan. He begins to tell me that my hCG levels were at 132 which is awesome! I responded with I kinda knew they were gonna be good because I've been throwing my toe-nails up since Tuesday. He said let the joys begin of being pregnant. I immediately called Daniel to let him the best news we could have gotten.  We cant wait till our little peanut gets here!! Our estimated due date as of right now is October 21, 2011!!!

My fingers are crossed

For good news that is. I went back to the doctor today for a follow up. I asked lots of questions and got lots of answers. =) I found out that I wasn't as far long as he thought I was. He said he felt I was only about 4 weeks, which is better news than before because we thought I was between 7 and 8 weeks. He said my chances for another one are very low, and I was glad to hear that. He rechecked my hormone levels and I will know the results from it on Monday. Which meant more horrible needles. =( He asked if I had a normal cycle since my miscarriage, and I informed him that I hadn't. So, he said there is a possibility that I could be expecting again, but not getting my hopes up all the way just yet! I'm just hoping that my Snthyroid is working like its suppose to and my hormone levels are where they're suppose to be. 

As this Monday is Valentine's Day I'm so thankful that I have an amazing husband who has been by my side throughout my ups and downs. I heard a song on the radio not to long ago that made me think about my wonderful husband God gave me!! I love you Punkin and always will =) I will update as soon as I hear back the results of my blood work. Hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's weekend!!

This made me smile today!!

This week we remember all babies born sleeping or whom we have carried but never met, those we have held but could not take home, the ones that came home but didn't stay. Make this your profile status if you or someone you know has suffered the loss of a baby. The majority won't do it, because unlike cancer, baby loss is still a taboo subject. Break the silence. In memory of all our precious angels. Thought this was sweet and had to share!! Hope everyone is having a blessed day!! Cant wait for the weekend =)