On another note I've changed jobs from one orthodontist to another. I now work for Drobocky Orthodontics in Bowling Green, Ky. My new job isn't as stressful as my last and I'm really enjoying it. It's a little closer to home, which is nice!! After I started here a girl I work with had gotten pregnant, then found out that her baby had no heartbeat. I feel like God put me in the place at the right time to help her get through her toughest times. I was her shoulder to cry on. In my case I never got to see a baby or to even know there was a baby, all I has were sacks. So, from my stand point I think its easier to know I never really had a child in me, but either way its tough.
Now that time has past it gets easier.. well some days it is, but the closer I get to the due dates it really tugs at my heart strings. Everyone tries to make light of it all by saying .." It will happen one day, just give it time." or " God knows whats best and that baby would've had lots of problems, so you're better off now" No one really knows the right things to say until you've went through it, even then you don't really have the right words to say. I guess what is so hard is no one really understanding how much heartache and pain you go through within yourself. Not even my husband who has lost the same baby understands how hard it is on me. I'm thankful I have a friend who went through one the same time as my first one who has been there whenever I'm feeling down or just need someone to talk to. Thank you Brittany for being there!! Alot of people have told me that I have an amazing faith in God. In my darkest moments I don't see how I get through them, but I know that God has a plan for me and I know he has great things in store for us. So all i can do now is have faith that one day I'm gonna have the chance to hold my sweet miracle baby and know then in that moment it was all worth all of the heartbreak I had to go through.
At my work we do a morning meeting everyday, and each day someone gives a quote at the end. This past Tuesday was my turn and my quote was..."when the world says "Give up" hope whispers "Try one more time" I feel like that fit me perfectly, After 3 miscarriages you would think I would give up, but God whispers to me don't give up I've got great things in store for you. So now that 3 months have past, it is finally time to start trying again. So, everyone please continue to keep us in your prayers as we being this journey again. Once we find out that everything is fine and baby is healthy we will spill the beans to everyone!!!
Here are some bible verses that helped me get through. Enjoy!!!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ.
Somehow I stumbled upon this song and it gave me peace to know this is what my babies would say if I really could see him.
