Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The Last Day

Today is the last day of Mr. Rylan Kent being on the inside. I am more than ready for my little man to be in my arms, but I am getting very nervous as the emotions of everything are becoming very surreal. There is no turning back at this point lol! Yesterday was my last ultrasound and it was very bitter sweet. I was sad that it was the last time I would see my little man on the inside and excited that the next time I see him will be in my arms. As my hours of just me time are drawing near I have spent today just relaxing, sleeping, painting my finger nails, I took a long bath, shaved my legs (by the way I am still impressed I can still do this on my own), loved on my little dog as today is the last day he's mommy's only little man. I have soaked up every little movement Rylan has made, as this is going to be one of the things I miss the most about this journey coming to an end. I took my last shot last night and I am glad all that is over with, but dont get me wrong they were worth every stick I had to endure. All of our bags are packed and ready to go, he's car seat is installed in the car, we have everything ready for our little man. We have to be at Baptist at 11:45 tonight to start the induction process. I pray that everything goes as planned and that sometime tomorrow we have our little fella! I know that it's all in God's hands and that we've got 3 little angels watching over us, but its still hard not to think about all the things that can go wrong. We have endured so much hurt getting to this point and I know that the fear wont go away until I hear his first cry and see him take his first breath. I have longed for this day for so long and now that its incredibly close I am very scared.

I've went back and read every post from the very beginning and it's crazy to think how far we've come and how much I've changed along this journey. Throughout this journey there were many of times I didnt know if I would make it through the day and if I would've ever gotten the chance to be a Mommy. Now I am just hours away from my little miracle being born. I don't know and don't know if I ever will know what lesson was to be learnt from every miscarriage, but I do know that it has made me cherish every moment of being pregnant and I will cherish and not take for granted every moment that he is in this world. A lot of people have asked if I am ready to hear that cry and all those sleepless nights, but after everything I've been through I am looking forward to that cry and all the sleepless nights because there were many of times I never thought it would happen. God knew exactly what he was doing. I will never forget my little angels and I know that I will get to see them all one day, but until then I know they are watching over us everyday.

As this step of our journey comes to an and I want to thank every person who has prayed for us along the way and for all of the love and support throughout all of this. We couldn't be more blessed to have you in our lives. I cant wait for you all to hear about the birth story of our little man and see all the pictures. I know Im scared but I know that it will all be worth it the moment they lay Mr. Rylan up on my chest for the first time. I can only sit and imagine what that moment will be like and it just brings me to tears, but it will all be a reality very soon. Please say a prayer for us tonight and I will keep everyone updated along the way!! I cant wait for everyone to see my little fella!


My little man 
Here is a song just for my little man