Today is the last day of Mr. Rylan Kent being on the inside. I am more than ready for my little man to be in my arms, but I am getting very nervous as the emotions of everything are becoming very surreal. There is no turning back at this point lol! Yesterday was my last ultrasound and it was very bitter sweet. I was sad that it was the last time I would see my little man on the inside and excited that the next time I see him will be in my arms. As my hours of just me time are drawing near I have spent today just relaxing, sleeping, painting my finger nails, I took a long bath, shaved my legs (by the way I am still impressed I can still do this on my own), loved on my little dog as today is the last day he's mommy's only little man. I have soaked up every little movement Rylan has made, as this is going to be one of the things I miss the most about this journey coming to an end. I took my last shot last night and I am glad all that is over with, but dont get me wrong they were worth every stick I had to endure. All of our bags are packed and ready to go, he's car seat is installed in the car, we have everything ready for our little man. We have to be at Baptist at 11:45 tonight to start the induction process. I pray that everything goes as planned and that sometime tomorrow we have our little fella! I know that it's all in God's hands and that we've got 3 little angels watching over us, but its still hard not to think about all the things that can go wrong. We have endured so much hurt getting to this point and I know that the fear wont go away until I hear his first cry and see him take his first breath. I have longed for this day for so long and now that its incredibly close I am very scared.
I've went back and read every post from the very beginning and it's crazy to think how far we've come and how much I've changed along this journey. Throughout this journey there were many of times I didnt know if I would make it through the day and if I would've ever gotten the chance to be a Mommy. Now I am just hours away from my little miracle being born. I don't know and don't know if I ever will know what lesson was to be learnt from every miscarriage, but I do know that it has made me cherish every moment of being pregnant and I will cherish and not take for granted every moment that he is in this world. A lot of people have asked if I am ready to hear that cry and all those sleepless nights, but after everything I've been through I am looking forward to that cry and all the sleepless nights because there were many of times I never thought it would happen. God knew exactly what he was doing. I will never forget my little angels and I know that I will get to see them all one day, but until then I know they are watching over us everyday.
As this step of our journey comes to an and I want to thank every person who has prayed for us along the way and for all of the love and support throughout all of this. We couldn't be more blessed to have you in our lives. I cant wait for you all to hear about the birth story of our little man and see all the pictures. I know Im scared but I know that it will all be worth it the moment they lay Mr. Rylan up on my chest for the first time. I can only sit and imagine what that moment will be like and it just brings me to tears, but it will all be a reality very soon. Please say a prayer for us tonight and I will keep everyone updated along the way!! I cant wait for everyone to see my little fella!
Sorry its taken forever to blog another post, but life gets crazy busy the closer it gets to my wild man's arrival. Alot has happened since the last post. I started seeing a high risk doctor, Dr. Connie Graves. Which is the best of the best when it comes to maternal fetal medicine doctors. She is the head of Tennessee Maternal Fetal Association, which means Rylan and I are in very good hands. We had another ultrasound done at 21 weeks and 3 days to check Rylan's cyst that were on his brain, and with the amazing power of prayer we found out that the cysts were gone! I'm telling you God is great and we are so blessed to have a healthy baby boy! From that point on I had to have ultrasounds every 4 weeks to monitor his growth. So we go back for another ultrasound and to our surprise we found out he is going to be a BIG boy!!! Every time we went back for an ultrasound we would find out just how big he had gotten. Our last ultrasound was last week and was Rylan Kent was 4lbs and 10oz. He even has hair and a fat roll on his neck! His head is in the 99 percentile and body in the 86 percentile. So we have ourselves a little chunky monkey! But I wouldn't want him any other way!!!
Now we are at 32 weeks and 3 days and I started weekly ultrasounds today to make sure everything is ok with me and little man. Today he weighed 5lbs and my fluid levels were a little low. So, I've gone to 1/2 days at work, I've got to increase my water intake and rest, rest, and you guessed it rest! She's going to recheck my fluid levels next week and hopefully they've gone back up. If not I am assuming it would be bed rest and possibly even taking him earlier than what I want. I at least want his little lungs to be fully developed, which they took tons of images of them today and monitored him practicing his breathing. I am so excited to get to see him every week now, its crazy how big he's getting and getting to watch him grow inside my belly is a pretty amazing gift! It's the best feeling in the world to feel him moving around like a wild child in there. I am honestly gonna miss him being in there, even though I am so ready and excited to have him in my arms. We found out today that she's going to take him at 37 weeks, so I can come off of my blood thinner injections in time. I'm thinking it will be the weekend of May 17,18,19, or 20th. I'm hoping they have me go in Thursday May 17 to start the induction and hopefully he will be here May 18, 2012!! It's getting scary close now and all I can do is pray and know that Gods in control and he will keep me and Rylan safe as we take the next step in this journey.
We are getting excited about our baby shower coming up April 21, 2012!!! I absolutely love the baseball theme!! It couldn't fit Daniel, Rylan, and I any better!! I'm so excited to see what all he gets and to start putting everything together and finally getting ready for our little peanut! After next weekend I will be set and little man can make hes arrival!!!
Rylan at 28 weeks
Rylan at 32w3d
29 weeks
Baby Shower cake, but HOOLIHAN and #9 on the jersey!
As this weekend starts I will be 20 weeks on Sunday!! Which means Rylan Kent is halfway done. =) I can't wait for my sweet little man to be here! We had another ultrasound done on Tuesday, January 10, 2012. It was crazy to see how much he had grown in just 4 weeks. I was so in love with watching him sleeping in my belly. He wasn't very active this time, but the 2 nights before he had kept me up all night so looks like my little man has he's sleeping patterns backwards lol. He is still quiet the thumb sucker though, thank goodness he's mommy will be able to fix those teeth!! Rylan is now the size of a cantaloupe this week, measuring 6.5 inches and 10.5 ounces!! Everything checked out great with our little peanut, even though Dr. Chern said that he had 2 Choroid plexus cyst on his brain. Dr Chern reassured us that they almost always go away by the time he's 32 weeks, but after everything we've been through its hard not to get a little worried. I've read and researched everything, but at the end of that day I had given it all to God because I know its in his hands and I know that my baby is going to be just perfect to me either way. Since that night I haven't worried about him at all, every time I start to get upset about it he starts to go crazy like he's trying to tell me that he's gonna be ok. I still would like everyone to keep us in your prayers because they've all been working so far!!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year's! We had a wonderful Christmas, Rylan got so much stuff cant imagine what it will be like next year! He got tons of clothes, we got his nursery furniture, he got his first pair of Sperry's, we got a gift certificate for his newborn pictures (I'm so excited about this), we got a new camera to capture all of those kodax moments. We got Jason Aldean concert tickets, I got my sparkly blue Toms just for my little BOY!! We were so blessed this Christmas, and the thought of how special next year will be is just amazing! We spent New Years at the Liberty Bowl to watch Vandy play! We had an awesome time, even though they didn't come through with the win!! We got home around 10:30 p.m and spent midnight snoozing away!! We laughed the next morning because it was our first time to not stay up till midnight, and how different they would be for here on out but most definitely for the better!!
It's hard to believe that in just 5 months I will be holding my sweet angel for the first time ever! I'm so excited and so nervous all at the same time! I try to imagine what life will be like when he gets here and it brings tears to my eyes to think about the first time we see him. I wonder who he will look like, whose nose he will have, will he have hair, hopefully he wont have my ears lol. I just cant wait to see how Daniel and Rylan are together. Its got to be the best thing ever in life. It's crazy how much I love him already and everyone says it only gets stronger once you see him. I cant imagine it getting any stronger, I would give my life for him right now. I heard the song I Saw God Today by George Strait and carrying a child within me and it made me think how can anyone not believe in God. For something so tiny as a sperm and egg to create a baby that starts out the size of a poppy seed and grows into a little human on the inside of your belly, and to watch the miracle of life be born. I watched Madison Liggett be born and its one of the most amazing things in this world and you can just feel the presence of God in the room. It just blows my mind of how much of a miracle it is, and for there still be people who say he doesn't exist. I am proud to say I am a believer and that he is my savior.
The week leading up to finding out what Baby Hoolihan would be took forever, at least we had things to keep us busy in the mean time. The weekend before Daniel, Mom, Bill, Buddy, Chelsea and I all went to Gatlinburg, we all had a blast!Wednesday we had a doctor's appointment to see how everything was going with baby. Everything was great, heartbeat was perfect, more blood drawn, and got in trouble for loosing more weight! Finally Friday had gotten here, I couldn't sleep a wink that night so all I could do was lay in bed and think about how the next day was going to go, then I would pray that God had given us a healthy baby and I told him that I was laying my selfishness out of the way and knew that he had given Daniel and I what he knew we needed in our lives. 9:00 a.m. on Saturday, December 17, 2011 had finally arrived, Daniel and I were up and getting ready to leave. First we went an ate at Waffle House, which I could hardly eat anything because of my nerves. We pulled in the parking lot of Precious View in Bowling Green, Ky at 10:15 a.m. we walked in and fill out all the paperwork. The time had came for us to find out. She was getting ready to start and I had told her that I wanted to know if it had 10 fingers, 10 toes and most importantly that it was healthy, then she could tell me what it was. She began the ultrasound by letting us hear it's heartbeat and then she started moving it around and BAM there was Mr Rylan Kent Hoolihan's legs in the air so we could clearly see his manhood! There was no shame in his game! I told her well guess he wanted mommy to know who he was right off the bat! I began to cry as we watched our little man! I looked over at Daniel and he was beaming from ear to ear =) Our little guy was very wild at the beginning and had fallen asleep by the end. Words can not describe how blessed Daniel and I are to have found out that our little miracle baby was a boy and most importantly that he was perfect! I love him more than anything in this world and would give my life for him already! Once we had left I called my mom and she immediately said it's a boy I can tell by your voice! My Daddy was the next phone call, followed by my Granny Moma and on to let friends and the rest of the family know! From there Daniel and I went to Babies R Us to register for our little man. We bought him 2 sleepers that we will take to the hospital for Rylan to sleep in while we're there. Then we went to Daniel's sisters to let his family know what we were having! Daniel handed his daddy the ultrasound pictures with the top one being his manhood! They were so excited for us! Now the Hoolihan name will be carried on, what other way to make a father more proud! We want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers for us up until this point! We couldn't be more blessed to have each and every one of you in our lives! Mr Rylan Kent Hoolihan is so lucky to have you too! We go back to the doctor on January 10 for my dr's ultrasound!! So we get to see our little man again!! Hope everyone has a wonderful Merry Christmas and a very blessed New Year!!
Here is the link so everyone can watch our ultrasound video!! Hope you enjoy as much as we did =)
I am 13w6d prego! As my first trimester comes to an end, my sweet baby is the size of a peach!! It's head is now about half the size of his or her crown to rump length! It's intestines, which have been growing inside the umbilical cord, are now starting to move to their permanent home inside the abdomen. Also developing this week is its vocal cords( the better to cry with... soon!) My uterus is now the size of a grapefruit which is really starting to make me show!! I'm sure everyone already knows we find out what baby Hoolihan is on December 17, 2011. Which is 16 days, 16 hours, and 29 min away... but no body's counting! LOL I am so excited to find out, I feel like I can have a stronger bond with my sweet baby once I know that it's Mr. Rylan Kent Hoolihan or Miss Bristol Anzlee Hoolihan! I'm so excited to let everyone know as well, I've got a neat way to let our families know what baby is that evening. So, everyone will have to be on the look out for a post on facebook and pictures to come with the announcement!! Everyone just say a prayer that baby cooperates and wants us to find out that day!! We go to baby doctor the Wednesday before we find out what baby is! I'm excited to hear that sweet sweet sound again!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping!!! I had a wonderful Thanksgiving, the food was amazing what a wonderful time to be pregnant! Daniel and I went shopping on Black Friday, we bought diapers and more diapers and I got a great deal on a pump! My parents bought us our baby furniture!!! I absolutely love it and can't wait for it to come in, so we can put it together!! I also put up the baby's tree in its room and then our family tree!! I love our trees and I think everyone else did too! Can't wait for the next update... stay tuned!
Today we got to hear the most amazing sound ever, our baby's heartbeat!! It was so touching and such a huge relief to hear the BEST sound on earth! Baby Hoolihan is doing great, which is such a blessing. I thank God everyday for my baby and pray that it's going to be healthy as can be. Daniel and I are so grateful for everyone's prayers along the way. You have no idea how much it means to us to know that our baby has little prayer warriors and that its loved by so many already!! Now the count down is on until we find out what baby Hoolihan will be!! I will be 18 weeks the week of Christmas and Im hoping Dr. Chern will let us find out that week and if not it will be the week after. How awesome would it be to get to know for out Christmas present! By the way I have an awesome gender revel for our families! =)
Thanksgiving is only 8 days away, and I am so ready to pig out on all of that yummy food oh yeah and spend time with our families. =) LOL what pregnant girl doesn't get excited about food! On another note I am so ready for Christmas. I hung my wreath tonight and on Sunday I had my wonderful hubby and step dad pull all of my Christmas stuff down from the attic!! Now all we have to do is get a REAL Christmas tree! I have finally talked my paranoid hubby into letting me have one, but he only says just this one year! I am still working on him letting me get a little tree this year for baby's room, but I'm use to getting my way so I'm sure we'll have one before to long! =) I love you Punkin!! Hope everyone has a wonderful holidays!!
Friday November 4, 2011 started my tenth week of pregnancy! I can't believe we've made it this far =). Baby Hoolihan is doing great and growing like a weed! As for me I'm doing great too, belly is getting bigger, boobs are getting huge (can we say ouch), belly is big and bruised (but completely worth it!), I'm still getting sick (on a good note not as often as the beginning). Sleep.. that's all I want to do now.
Sorry it's been a little while since I've wrote. I've been super busy the past couple of weeks. October 22, 2011 my little brother got married. Then Halloween weekend came and went, we spent Saturday morning at the Vandy game, then we headed to Trunk or Treat with the Hoolihan family, finally we went to a bonfire party with my family! A great weekend all together! This past weekend was Benton and Keyna's wedding. We have a craft show this weekend and then finally we go back to the doctor on November 16, 2011! I so can not wait to hear my sweet baby!!
8 weeks
Baby Hoolihan is the size of a prune and is getting bigger and bigger each day! This week baby has working arms joints, and its cartilage and bones are forming. It's vital organs are fully developed and they're starting to function. It's fingernails and hair are starting to appear ( hope all this heartburn pays off), and it's swallowing and kicking up a storm! It's about 1.2 inches long and weighs about 1.4 ounces. It's body length will almost double in the next three weeks!
Thanks everyone for keeping me and my little peanut in your prayers! The power of prayer is amazing, so please continue to keep them coming!! God has been so good to us!! Each morning on my way to work I talk to God and thank him so very much for giving me another opportunity to have another sweet miracle baby, and pray that I am blessed to have a healthy baby! I will continue to keep everyone updated on us!! Cant wait to share that sweet galloping horse sound with everyone in 8 days!!!
As of now I'm sure the world knows that Daniel and I are expecting a little bundle of joy June 4, 2012. We are so excited its unbelievable!! On September 30, 2011 (the day after my b-day and the due date of my first little one) I went to my regular doctor to have my thyroid checked and to my surprise we found out we were pregnant. I was very scared because I had been taking diet pills for about 3 weeks and they are very bad for a baby. We went to Dr. Chern my OB doctor that next Monday to confirm that we really were having a little one. He assurred us that everything was going to be ok with baby and with me. He wanted to see us back in 2 weeks for an ultrasound. He wrote me my script for my shots and sent us on our way. I leave the doctors office and head to Wal Mart pharmacy to get my shots filled. Once they are filled and ready for me to pick them up I get a huge shock, they were $7.00 a month instead of being $180.00 a week like before. I immediately starting crying and the lady checking me out said are you ok and I began to tell her she had no idea of how much of a blessing this was for me, considering I would have to be on them the whole pregnancy. She told me that God worked in mysterious ways and I told her that I can attest to that. And here is where all of our blessings started, The Sunday before we found out I had found a four leaf clover and thought to myself I am in need of some good luck. and then finding out that we had been given another opportunity to start our family, then my shots only costing $7.00 a month. I knew with all of these things that had happened there was no way this baby wasn't meant to be! I knew God was behind all of this and he was showing me that faith really is trusting in his timing. A lesson I had to learn the hard way, but so worth the wait. The next 2 weeks seem to drag by.
Finally the time had arrived for us to go back to the doctor. I tossed and turned all night long just thinking of how this appointment was going to go. Daniel and I get up and get ready to head out to the doctor this morning. We get there extra early just hoping that they would go ahead and get us back. We check in and they tell us she is getting the ultrasound room warmed up for us and she would get us back as soon as it was warm enough. She takes us back and gets us ready for Dr. Chern to come in. It seems like its taking forever for him to come in the room and finally he knocks on the door and gets everything ready. The time has came for us to finally see our little peanut. He starts moving the thing around trying to find it and at first I didn't see anything but a sack again and finally I look up and see my little miracles heart beating away!! It took my breath away and I immediately began to cry. I couldn't believe that I actually had a little one inside me and all of my dreams were coming true. Daniel came up by me and rubbed my leg and told me everything was going to be ok. My little one is measuring 7weeks and 6 days and puts its due date June 4, 2012. Its little heartbeat is beating away at a rate of 137-140. So I'm thinking its a little BOY, but I will be blessed with whatever God has in store for us. Our next baby doctor appointment is November 16, at that time we will be able to hear little bits heartbeat!!
Everyone please keep all of us in your prayers and I will keep everyone updated! I plan on blogging once a week up until baby's arrival. I'm also going to be starting a blog for the baby where I write it a letter every week until baby gets here, then it will go to once a month until my little is one and then once a year until my little one is all grown up. And one day I will let my little read all of its letters mommy and daddy have written throughout the years. Once again thank you all for your kind words and prayers along the way and please keep them coming because they have been working!!
I know its been forever since I've written about my journey. I've had lots of things change for the bad and good since my last post. As most of you already know we found out the week before Daniel and my 1 year anniversary, that we had no baby in the sack and that I had a D&C done on May 11, 2011. To say the least that was one of the hardest but rewarding things I had done. After all this took place we found out that Daniel and I are compatible to have children together, God just has other things in mind for us now. We also found out that the sack baby would've been in was perfect too.
On another note I've changed jobs from one orthodontist to another. I now work for Drobocky Orthodontics in Bowling Green, Ky. My new job isn't as stressful as my last and I'm really enjoying it. It's a little closer to home, which is nice!! After I started here a girl I work with had gotten pregnant, then found out that her baby had no heartbeat. I feel like God put me in the place at the right time to help her get through her toughest times. I was her shoulder to cry on. In my case I never got to see a baby or to even know there was a baby, all I has were sacks. So, from my stand point I think its easier to know I never really had a child in me, but either way its tough.
Now that time has past it gets easier.. well some days it is, but the closer I get to the due dates it really tugs at my heart strings. Everyone tries to make light of it all by saying .." It will happen one day, just give it time." or " God knows whats best and that baby would've had lots of problems, so you're better off now" No one really knows the right things to say until you've went through it, even then you don't really have the right words to say. I guess what is so hard is no one really understanding how much heartache and pain you go through within yourself. Not even my husband who has lost the same baby understands how hard it is on me. I'm thankful I have a friend who went through one the same time as my first one who has been there whenever I'm feeling down or just need someone to talk to. Thank you Brittany for being there!! Alot of people have told me that I have an amazing faith in God. In my darkest moments I don't see how I get through them, but I know that God has a plan for me and I know he has great things in store for us. So all i can do now is have faith that one day I'm gonna have the chance to hold my sweet miracle baby and know then in that moment it was all worth all of the heartbreak I had to go through.
At my work we do a morning meeting everyday, and each day someone gives a quote at the end. This past Tuesday was my turn and my quote was..."when the world says "Give up" hope whispers "Try one more time" I feel like that fit me perfectly, After 3 miscarriages you would think I would give up, but God whispers to me don't give up I've got great things in store for you. So now that 3 months have past, it is finally time to start trying again. So, everyone please continue to keep us in your prayers as we being this journey again. Once we find out that everything is fine and baby is healthy we will spill the beans to everyone!!!
Here are some bible verses that helped me get through. Enjoy!!!
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Philippians 4:6-7
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ.
Somehow I stumbled upon this song and it gave me peace to know this is what my babies would say if I really could see him.
Today April 26, 2011 I am starting my 10th week of pregnancy, with every pregnancy symptom you can think of in full swing! From morning sickness, exhaustion, to the worst one of all my boobs absolutely killing me and getting bigger and bigger, having to pee every 5 minutes, and the crazy women coming out to see the world (wonderful hormones, did I mention my poor husband). Other than all of that the peanut and I are doing great!! My shots are going good, some days they don't bother me and other days they are horrible, but I know that they are working so I wont complain.
Easter weekend came and went. It was wonderful, church service was amazing. I am so proud to say I serve a RISEN God!! He is wonderful and I am thankful for all the many blessings he's given me. We are just one week away from getting to see and hear our little peanut!! Man how time just seems to crawl, but then seem to fly by all in the same instant. We are so excited to see our little miracle baby!! Daniel and I went and bought one of the record able hearts from Build A Bear. We are going to record our little one's heartbeat and stuff its own little bear!! Just one way to show my little peanut that it is very special to mommy and daddy!! I've also started a pregnancy journal along with this blog, so once baby is old enough I can show and tell them the journey we've all taken to greet them. My due date has also changed, not a for certain one yet but its now November 28, 2011. We find out for certain on May 3. I am so over joyed its unbelievable!!
My belly is officially growing, well to me at least. Its starting to round out a little and my regular pants are starting to get uncomfortable, but I think thats from where my bruises are. We've started buying diapers and wipes to try and get a head start. Hopefully by the time he or she makes their appearance I'll have enough to get us through the first couple of months or so. I plan on buying a box of each every other week so that leaves me with 20 big boxes of diapers and wipes at the end. Lets see how fast we go through them though, pretty sure a whole lot faster than it took to collect them all.
I've also changed the nursery stuff I had picked out for a little girl. I've decided against a themed room, but only for a girl. I couldn't pass on the turtles for the little boy. Everyone I've seem to talk to with newborns that chose to do a theme ended up regretting it in the end. So I've pick out the Harlington Nursery Collection from Pottery Barn. Its red, pink, white, with a small amount of turquoise in it. Ill post pictures of it later. I also changed the color of the bed, I want it to be a white bedroom suite for a girl. And still I think this baby is a Boy!! While everyone else thinks its a girl. I really don't care if its a boy or girl as long as I have a healthy baby. We get to find out if baby Hoolihan is a boy or a girl the end of June!!! I so cant wait till then. Im ready to start filling the closet, painting the room, buying the bed, and all the fun stuff that comes with being pregnant!!!
Continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers because they seem to be working!! I will update next week after we have our new ob appointment and ultrasound. I cant wait to show everyone our little peanut!! Until I talk to ya'll again I hope everyone stays safe during the storms and has a wonderful 1st weekend in May!!
Most of you know the journey God has lead Daniel and me through. We have had some wonderful news turn to bad news really fast. I've had good days and bad ones too. Our relationship has been through a whole lot as we are approaching our year anniversary. I would have never thought some of the things that have happened ever could happen, but God has got us through every single step!! God is so good!! We married on May 8, 2010, moved in our house June 30, 2010, bought me a new Jeep August 3, 2010, got a new puppy September 30, 2010, found out we were expecting January 12, 2011, miscarried January 13, 2011, expecting again February 14, 2011, and miscarried February 21, 2011, had test ran to find out the cause of my miscarries on March 17, 2011, On March 25, 2011 found out the results, I have Thrombophlebitiswhich is a clotting factor which makes my blood form a clot when I get pregnant and doesn't let nutrients get to baby and without that baby can't live so I miscarry. Dr. Riggan had me start taking a baby aspirin everyday until we find out I'm pregnant and I would have to start a blood thinner injection called Lovanox, and this is the day my monthly cycle is suppose to return.
On April 2, 2011 my precious niece Loralei Louise DeForest made her appearance at 11:45 p.m. weighing 7lbs. 15oz. and 19 inches long. She is absolutely perfect and has the biggest dimples ever!! I love her so very much and I'm one proud aunt! Sunday, April 3, 2011 we wake up and are getting ready to head back to the hospital to see Amber and Loralei again, in the meantime Daniel ask if I've still not started and I haven't so he tells me to take a test to just be sure. So I take a test and there two pink lines appeared. I immediately started crying and called my mom and told her the news. She told me to call Dr. Riggan first thing Monday morning. Monday, April 4, 2011 I called my Dr. and told him my news, and he wanted me to come in for blood work, so I was going to go before 4:30, then the bad storms hit and knocked my office and there office out of power. Which leaves me having to go on Tuesday April 5, 2011 to have blood work done and Dr Riggan writes me a script for my Lovanox injections. I get home and start calling around to check prices of this and found out they were $172.00 a week which is $688.00 a month, which is not cheap, but I couldn't put a price on my child. So, my wonderful mother and father are going to help us out with the cost of that. God had already began to answer prayers because at first we thought they were going to be $2000.00 a month and that my insurance wasn't going to pay for any of the cost, insurance ended up paying for some of the cost, and the fact my parents had offered to help us out. I'm telling you God is so amazing!! I went back on Thursday, April 7, 2011 to have repeat blood work done to make sure my hCG levels are rising. Dr Riggan calls me Thursday night and of course I miss the phone call, but he leaves a voice mail just letting me know everything is ok and to call the next morning. Friday, April 8, 2011 ( my daddy's birthday) I wake up and call Dr. Riggan and he tells me everything is doing great and he scheduled my ultrasound and next appointment!
So Now today is Friday, April 15, 2011 and I am still pregnant and taking my shots like a champ. I take 1 injection in my belly everyday. On the bright side I only have 235 more days to go!! My wonderful mom comes and gives it to me everyday!!! Did I mention she is wonderful and a gift from God I don't know how I would make it without her. They don't hurt to horribly bad they just burn really really bad and make a bruise, so by the end my big ol' belly will be one big bruise. Dr Riggan told me to look at that big bruised belly and know that bruise is what is keeping that baby ALIVE!! Daniel and I are so over joyed its unbelievable!! I dread going to pee every time scared that its going to give me a horrible sign, but so far so good. God is helping me know that he is in control and this is his child and everything will be OK. The morning sickness,as they call it, has kicked in which is kicking my butt morning, noon and night!! I wonder who came up with that name, probably a man who has never gone through any of it!! lol =) I go to the Dr. May 3, 2011 to have our first ultrasound, I am sooooo excited to get to see and probably hear my little peanut!!! We find out our for sure due date, but as of right now my EDD is December 6, 2011!! My Christmas present from God!! I cant begin to tell you how excited we are and all at the same time so nervous and scared! So everyone please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. This is still on the down low so please no post on facebook. If you wanna talk please write it in a message on fb or text me!! I just wanted to catch people up on our life and our wonderful news!! Thank you all for being such wonderful friends and family. How lucky can one girl get? I will keep everyone updated and will post pictures of my little peanut and the wonderful growing belly soon!! Remember that God answers prayers and he truly has a wonderful plan even when we think hes only out to hurt us, he really isn't he knows whats best and everything will work out according to his plan. He loves you and always will get you through.
I heard this song the Monday after I found out!! It made me cry like a baby because it is so true!!
So I heard this song on the way to work one day last week and it reminded me of my little ones in heaven. As almost 2 weeks have past since my last miscarriage its getting easier to make through the day without crying or it always being on my mind. God's working his magic in those areas. Me and Daniel are going back to the doctor on Tuesday, March 22 to have my follow up and to start running all of the test to try and find out whats going on to cause my miscarriages. I'm nervous to find out the results, but excited to begin trying again. This is something Ive wanted for a while now and hoping that I get the chance to be a mommy and Daniel to be a daddy. As all this has happened Ive had problems with going in the room that's going to be baby's, being around baby stuff, and just the thought that I will never get to be a mommy to a little that Ive been able to carry. I know God knows best and that everything will work out in the end. Ive just got to sit back and let it all happen on his time not on mine. I guess that's one of the hardest things about this whole experience is learning to have patience, when Ive never been to good with that!! My moma has been saying I can control alot of things in life, but the good Lord above is showing me that this is one thing in life I can't be in control of.
Ive had a good weekend considering the weather is so nasty. Friday I spent the day with a friend at work and her little girl. Today Daniel and I went and got our hair done, then went and got me a new laptop (because mine died after 7 years). I am absolutely loving it =) Tomorrow we've got church and then the Hoolihan gang coming over for lunch. Then back to work on Monday! Hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend, and I will update after we've had our test ran.
I'm sure most all of you know that the best news I received turned to the worst news on Monday night. It all started as any day for me does. I went to work, got off and the only thing different was Twila, a girl I work with, I took her home. I stepped inside to see her precious baby girl. I got home around 6:45, and being pregnant I was having to pee all the time so I went to the restroom and to my surprise I saw some blood. I began to panic at that point. I immediately called my mom and asked if it was normal. She informed me that sometimes it is normal, she asked how much and I told her at that point it was just light spotting. Still being scared of what it could mean I layed down on the couch. Then I had started hurting not horrible, but more than normal. I called my mom back, who is a nurse, she told me to call the doctors office and get the on call doctor. I called and around 7:30 the doctor called me back. He told me that if my bleeding or cramping got any worse go to the er. Daniel and I ran through McDonald's. Got back home an I began hurting pretty bad and went to the restroom again, and saw my worse fear, I was bleeding pretty bad. Daniel and I get in the car and head to Hendersonville Er. We get there around 9:30 and they immediately start drawing blood and running test. Around 11:15 we get the news my hCG levels had dropped again. I never thought it would happen to us again, but it was happening at that moment, my heart was breaking. We had a silent ride back home. We got home right at 12:00 and went straight to bed.
Daniel got up and went to work the next day and I headed back to Dr. Riggan's office. I got there and couldn't control my emotions. He came in and talked to me. He begin by saying he was so sorry. He told me there was really no way to tell what the cause was this time. He told me I had some options and I told him I wanted to give it some more time before I made my decision wither or not I wanted to proceed with a D and C. So, he told me to come back the next day and we would make the decision then. I spent the rest of the day in bed resting because I was hurting really bad. I got up and went back to the doctor today and informed him that my bleeding and cramping wasn't as bad as it had been the day before. He told me that was good news and we would wait on the D and C for now. I was glad to hear that. I came back home and have slept most of the day. When I'm awake I do nothing but cry. I know Ill never know God's plan, but it still doesn't make it easy. Dr. Riggan told me that we would start running lots of different test once my levels were back to normal, which should be in about 4 weeks. He said that if those test come back normal we would begin doing chromosome testing on me and Daniel. I have been praying to God that the blood test for me comes back with something small that can be fixed before we have to get to the other major testing. I pray to God that me and my wonderful husband are able to have children together and get to experience the miracle of life and the gift of being a mommy and a daddy. I know that talking to God helps us heal, and I've been talking to him a whole lot here lately. If I gain anything from this experience I have gained a closer relationship with God. Everyone has sent messages telling me that I will be a great mom, I hope that when I get the chance to be blessed enough to get to be a mommy. I pray that I will be a great one. Once I get the chance to have my own little miracle I will cherish every moment I get and never take a day that I have for granted. Even now going through this heartbreak twice it has brought me and my husband closer to together, closer to God and has changed our lives forever. I know we have 2 amazing little angels watching over us everyday. I guess what helps me get through is knowing that both of my little peanuts are going to be waiting on me at the gate one day. Mommy and Daddy love you little peanuts!!!
The song at the top really hit home in this deep moment where I wanna question God, but like the song says I know you are for me. So I know God is just testing my faith and love for him and this to shall pass and I know it will make me and Daniel only stronger and better Christians.
Monday February 14, 2011 I woke up got out of bed and for some reason I thought Ill take a pregnancy test just to see what it would say, even though I knew I was going to be getting my results back soon anyways. So I pee on the stick and waited, about 2 minutes later a light pink line appeared. I thought no way so I looked again, and again, and 1 more time just to be certain. Once I knew my mind wasn't playing tricks on me I began to cry and fall to my knees and give thanks to God for allowing me the chance again, and thanking him for everything and praying for a healthy baby. After I had gotten my self back together I called and told my mom that I had two pink lines, followed by a phone call to my husband telling him about our wonderful news!! He said to me I guess you got the best Valentine's gift I could ever give. I finished getting ready for work and headed out the door. The whole way to work I talked to God and my little peanut =).
I had been at work for about an hour and I had a special delivery my husband had sent me fresh cut flowers! He is so wonderful to me and is going to be an amazing daddy. I go back to working on my patients, still waiting on the phone call from my doctor. 5 o'clock comes and its time to get off work and I still haven't heard anything. I meet Daniel at Walgreens and we get 2 more boxes of pregnancy test, 2 of the digital ones and 2 regular ones. We get home and again I pee on the stick and immediately there are two blue lines on one and the other said PREGNANT!!! I couldn't believe it!! We were so excited but still not forgetting what had happened last time, so in the back of our minds we knew things go turn for the worse again. We go to bed that night and wake up the next morning and I take another one and guess what it was positive. I go to work still waiting on a phone call from Dr. Riggan. Finally, I get a call from Angel and she tells me to come by and he'll talk to me. I get there and I get more blood drawn to make sure my hCG levels are rising like there suppose to, and he talks to me. He informed me that I was pregnant and that my levels from Friday were 25, which was higher than they were last time. He said that now on Tuesday they should be around 90 to 100. I go Wednesday with no phone call and finally on Thursday night on my way home from Cookeville my phone rings and its Dr. Riggan. He begins to tell me that my hCG levels were at 132 which is awesome! I responded with I kinda knew they were gonna be good because I've been throwing my toe-nails up since Tuesday. He said let the joys begin of being pregnant. I immediately called Daniel to let him the best news we could have gotten. We cant wait till our little peanut gets here!! Our estimated due date as of right now is October 21, 2011!!!
For good news that is. I went back to the doctor today for a follow up. I asked lots of questions and got lots of answers. =) I found out that I wasn't as far long as he thought I was. He said he felt I was only about 4 weeks, which is better news than before because we thought I was between 7 and 8 weeks. He said my chances for another one are very low, and I was glad to hear that. He rechecked my hormone levels and I will know the results from it on Monday. Which meant more horrible needles. =( He asked if I had a normal cycle since my miscarriage, and I informed him that I hadn't. So, he said there is a possibility that I could be expecting again, but not getting my hopes up all the way just yet! I'm just hoping that my Snthyroid is working like its suppose to and my hormone levels are where they're suppose to be.
As this Monday is Valentine's Day I'm so thankful that I have an amazing husband who has been by my side throughout my ups and downs. I heard a song on the radio not to long ago that made me think about my wonderful husband God gave me!! I love you Punkin and always will =) I will update as soon as I hear back the results of my blood work. Hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's weekend!!
This week we remember all babies born sleeping or whom we have carried but never met, those we have held but could not take home, the ones that came home but didn't stay. Make this your profile status if you or someone you know has suffered the loss of a baby. The majority won't do it, because unlike cancer, baby loss is still a taboo subject. Break the silence. In memory of all our precious angels. Thought this was sweet and had to share!! Hope everyone is having a blessed day!! Cant wait for the weekend =)
Wife, Daughter. Grandaughter. Sister. Best Friend. Lover. Laugher. Believer.
My name is Miranda Dawn Dixon-Hoolihan. I married my best friend, Daniel, on May 8, 2010. I have 2 fur babies a dog named Carter Kent which is a mini winnie dog and a cat named Patches, Im an orthodontic assistant and love putting braces on smiling faces=) We go to church at Long Hollow Baptist Church. I love Jesus Christ with all my heart! I cant wait to be a mother and enjoy the miracle of life. And my dream as a child is finally coming true as I will bring my sweet little man into this world June 4, 2012.
